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Crystal Country Gothic Fantasy

by CALM TOMBS

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1.
2.
DEAD INSIDE 01:51
I’m grateful that I’m dead inside, because I was born with a thorn in my side And a song stuck in my head. I don’t follow the flock but I go with the flow, I’m going nowhere but I’m getting there slow Down detour after dead end. It’s a little blessing in a big disguise Is it fate, love or hate that roll the dice? A typewriter ribbon and a cassette tape In a tackle box tangled up my fate With a few who strayed from the crowd. As I carve out a path for my mental health I have to laugh at myself Because it's the ones who are fine that really freak me out. It’s a little blessing in a big disguise Is it fate, love or hate that roll the dice?
3.
There's nothing as sweet as a well-said goodbye, except coming back home to arms open wide. There's nothing as strange as leaving behind, except to roll back in again like the tide. There comes a time to ride the ride. And there comes a time to hold on tight. How far have we drifted from the path we envisioned? We came back around in the other direction. If you're ever too far off course, You can can follow your heart as if it's true north. There comes a time to ride the ride. And there comes a time to hold on tight.
4.
5.
I hear it all through my paper thin walls. I don’t care at all if they bare it all. The couple beside me drink, fight, and fuck. They're sweet when they're sober but they're mean when they're drunk. They’re getting back together when they’re not breaking up. Of course we’ve all been there and I wish them both good luck. When you’re in it, it’s hard to face the fact That you’re better off moving on than holding each other back. I hear it all through my paper thin walls, Unaware of an audience forbearing applause. The lady upstairs repairs violins. She sings in the shower and with the records she spins. With a pump organ in the morning she practices hymns, And plays rock and roll when the night time begins. I hum along to her songs and wonder if she knows, Or if I’m the phantom of her floorboards or a haunted radio. I hear it all through my paper thin walls, Bedtime prayers and bathroom phone calls. The person in the basement can lament all day long. I’d like to reach out thru the walls and ask what is wrong. At least they’re not alone and I can tell from their tone It’s their mother or ex lover on the other side of the phone. Behind closed doors therein lies the truth, I’ve no advice to give from my voyeur confession booth. I hear it all through my paper thin walls. I don’t care at all if they bare it all. 'Cause I tune it all out instead As I lay awake in bed, I'll replay the day in my head, And say the things I wish I said.
6.
7.
A televangelist in Los Angeles said the end is nigh, "based on my calculations and the Book of Revelations I believe we'll leave this world behind. It’s not too late to aid in your salvation, so make a donation as a sign of good faith. Would you seem a true believer, coming clean to St. Peter with cash in hand at the pearly gates?" At the rapture after party, he’s cashing out, Laughing so hard he’s passing out. A day later the front page of the paper sitting on my neighbour’s front step The headline went “your soul is in danger” then my neighbour came out and she said: “Would you do me a favour when I meet my maker and look after my dog when i’m gone?* She left the key under the mat and said "If I’m not coming back, you may as well take whatever else you want.” I was careful not to get an earful so I agreed and i carried on my way I went to work, put on a clean shirt and kept my head down for the rest of the day At the rapture afterparty, I’m at work instead, Rockin’ out with my headphones in, I’ll clock out when I’m dead. At the rapture afterparty, with my head in the clouds, While every other person was cursing and calling out. When I finished my shift I returned a call that I missed from a friend who said to head to the park. So I took my bike to where all the crows fly at night, a place in the city’s backyard. But there was no one around, all that I found was their clothes on the ground in a pile. For a moment i imagined the rapture really happened and tried to reconciled with my exile. Then I heard water splashing, a few friends laughing, and a couple cans cracking open, So I took off my clothes, said “I’ll take one of those,” and I jumped in. The moon hit the pond like a disco ball from beyond While we renamed the constellations, With wet hair and red eyes singing limericks, lullabies and other incantations. At the rapture afterparty, we’re speaking in tongues, All weak in the knees, with smoke in our lungs. At the rapture afterparty, we’re in love with the world, All bleary eyed and our speeches slurred. When the ashtray was overflowing, I said “I should get going, it was nice knowing you all, But if any of you heathens come here tomorrow evening, give me a call.” Got home at dawn, I heard the TV still on, coming from the other side of my wall As it went on so long something seemed wrong so I made my way down the hall. I knocked for moment before I unlocked and opened my neighbours front door. There was no one there, just a nightgown on a chair with her slippers on the floor. At the rapture afterparty, I adopted a dog, With no sign of my neighbour and no word from God.
8.
9.
GROUND 03:01
I was born with blood on my hands, for the sins of my father and the motherland, for king and country and the chain of command. Look no further than the ground on which I stand. Suck the blood from the earth, sell it for dirt cheap, mark up what it’s worth, take more than you need. You can watch the world burn as you turn the other cheek. Look no further than the ground on which I speak. There's a history that no one mentions. Questions won’t set you free. It wasn't all good intentions that paved the way for me. The ground's not stained where blood was spilled, but corruption's ingrained and I'll inherit the guilt. When foundations crack and towers tilt, look no further than the ground on which it's built. There's a history that no one mentions. Questions won’t set you free. It wasn't all good intentions that paved the way for me.
10.
Fare thee well. See you in hell. Wish you were here. Is it too soon to tell? I bury the hatchet, batten down the hatches, see what comes back from the ashes. Bedside-saddle up to the mattress. Been here forever. Ain't as long as it seems. In all these city nightmares, And countless country dreams, I bury the hatchet, batten down the hatches, I'll be there to catch it when it crashes. Bedside-saddle up to the mattress. Found your old sweater. Thought I gave it away. Have I been here forever Or just for today? I bury the hatchet, batten down the hatches, Bite my lip and bat my lashes. Bedside saddle up to the mattress.
11.
The Spring I was turning 33 and a ⅓ I was getting rid of everything that I could. I took all my books to the community centre And a duffle bag of clothes to the downtown shelter. As for my record collection collecting dust in my closet Tried make some extra cash at the flea market. Every Sunday night at the midtown mall Fluorescent lights wash over us all. between board games, model trains, hockey cards and comic books, arts and crafts, old photographs, homemade baked goods. Flipping thru flamenco, calypso, and disco, Solo viola and yo la tengo, Instrumental versions of popular songs, 5 easy pieces for guitar and drums, American music with fake British accents, Sea shanties and murder ballads, Shoegaze new wave honky tonk Hip hop doo wop soda pop rock, Local bands with pots and pans, heavy metal pedal steel, Clean tones, drones and jams, freewheelin’ jigs and reels. We've all had some interesting choices; Grateful dead or guided by Voices. Got a Bob Dylan bootleg from back in the 80s, And a Neko Case concert backed by The Sadies. Chubby Checker getting stranger in '71, While I'm over here on the wrong side of the song, Getting lost and found in underground collections, Hidden gems and John peel sessions, With a lonely Springsteen in 1982, In blue collar bad dreams, high beams, drives-thrus. Round about midnight we were wrapping things up Packed up my stuff, put it back of my truck. At the all-night diner, on my way outta town, Stopped for a coffee and a last look around. After going thru the soundtracks of my youth I left the change on the table and the records in the booth. All these records once felt like a place, I lived in these songs and drifted off into space, On dance floors under the stars, in living rooms and legion halls, Outdoors between the bars, in the back of classic cars.
12.
HEADLIGHTS 03:14
Was I a deer in the headlights or a moth to a flame? Cause I could hear the excitement I was trying to contain. I tried to steer a path, but the aftermath was the same. The shimmer and shine got dimmer in time, and I felty like last night's left-out champagne. I lost the spark like it was left out in the rain. On another fresh start, I called it by a different same. It looked the same in the dark, and just as hard to maintain. The shimmer and shine got dimmer in time, and I felty like last night's left-out champagne.
13.
When the visitors came down from the heavens, They didn't come with greeting or bare any weapons, And the whole thing was done in a matter of seconds. Hands were shaking and feet were frozen, Eyes were shut and mouths hung open. Most thought we were doomed, some thought we were chosen. Then they disappeared back into the darkness, Everything went quiet, we could all taste the stardust. Those with the highest hopes crashed the hardest They came and left without so much as a word. They didn’t look back, and they've yet to returned. How small we all are is all we learned. And to think this should happen in our neighbourhood, I was laughing because I understood, this was just a good place to pullover and piss in the woods.
14.
Slip past the guards. Pick the lock on the gate. I used to pay them off, to look the other way. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks of the trade. Side step the empty city by way of old railroad tracks. Head deeper into the zone in search of artefacts left here as a gift or a message to mankind. I think either the message was missed or there’s nothing deeper to find. Dumped here by the visitors, and scattered around like litter. I’ll sell them underground to the highest bidder. It's none of my concern whatever they want it for we’re all just ants on a tossed applecore Look into my heart. It's seen better days, Between bad luck and being stuck in old ways. When I came thru the tunnel i thought I heard someone approach, Then I felt a cold blade pressed up to my throat. “Fancy seeing you here” said an old familiar face. He folded his knife and put it back in its case. He was a friend who first took me inside When I was a tourist, and he was the guide of the abandoned city is taken over by the forest, Where the straightest path is not always the shortest. After the visit, this place became the zone; A complex maze of traps with a mind of its own. To wind-up here together was not just by chance, But the will of the zone holding our hands. I said “Last time I saw you, you swore it was your last retreat.” He said “Yeah but I was never any good at making ends meet.” Look into my heart, it’s a great explorer, Always in awe in search of splendour and horror. On our way through the wastelands we started to discuss Whatever happened to everyone else like us. He said "they all got caught or got lost in here I assume. But I heard from a mutual friend who said he found the Room." Every conversation always comes back to this room That shows you your destiny all the way to your doom. In the dead centre of the zone it reveals itself to you. Once inside your innermost desire will come true. There's no worldly explanation for this freak of nature, Some say it's a hallucination or or alien architecture You know the real reason why this place is banned? It’s not the rubbish we smuggle out, or the dangers of the land. Its because the Room is real and cannot be controlled. So they keep it a secret until it can be harnessed or sold. Look into my heart. I try so hard to protect it, And to stay objective but God knows I'm a skeptic. "As for our friend, I guess he learned his true nature When he walked into that Room, and make it his future. He went in there with a wish, for his brother’s recovery. But stronger was his desire was to be rich because he won the lottery. Do you see what I mean? He didn't get what he had hoped But he got his heart’s desire, for what he had suffered the most. Like lost lovers who know better than to get back together, Whose knees still buckle at the sight of each other. Look at the drunk looking to start over; Who wants another drink, who wants to stay sober. So your innermost desire may be better off not achieved." As I thought it all over and said "is that what you believe?" Look into my heart. I know it's not pure. But all that is sacred can never be secure. I waited for a response and when I was sure that there was none I turned around and my friend was gone. All of a sudden things are not as they seem. I don’t belong here, i’m in someone else’s dream. I heard my name called from across a field. And felt my fate become sealed. I saw a house that was never there before With its porch light on, and an open door. I watched myself walk over as if I was someone else, and go up the steps and enter the house. Look into my heart. I know it can't be bad. But the life I’ve wanted is not the life I’ve had. Look into my heart. I know it can't be bad...
15.
diddly squat 01:02
16.
I fight the darkness, but I surrender to the void, and I come to terms with that which I can not avoid. I tried to fill the silence, and to kill the time, and to find meaning in this meaningless mind. Without the quiet as a frame, my brain won't turn off. Distractions are not the safety net for my thoughts So I close my eyes and tell myself to breath, And I swear I can hear the grass growing beneath my feet.

about

"It’s the ones who are fine that really freak me out…”

Welcome to my album. These fuzzy recordings were made on a couple of old shoebox tape recorders and boomboxes that I can't bring myself to part with. Any overdubs (with exception to the omnichord/casio in The Zone) are really underdubs -a part was first recorded and then played back loudly, while I played along, recording on another wonky boombox.

The first verse of Ride the Tide was written by a 17 year old Thom. The second half was finally written another 17 years later. The rest of the songs were written 2020 - 2023 while daydreaming my way through night-shifts as a hotel doorman.

The Visit and The Zone are part of a pipe-dream fanfiction sour-pop-rock-opera loosely based on the film “Stalker” by Andrei Tarkovsky, which is loosely based on the novel “Roadside Picnic” by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky.

XO
TC

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released August 31, 2023

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Thom Coombes St. John'S, Newfoundland and Labrador

not me. not now.

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